The self-help books are some of the best selling books on Amazon. Social media is littered with the ‘happiness posts’. Advertising has shifted from selling ‘sexy’ to pushing ads that promise happiness. But yet, a lot of people are still unhappy.
In most cases, we expect an outcome to deliver happiness. We justify the means by expecting the end to result in happiness. In this case, we do not appreciate the ‘means’ or the ‘process’ for which we use to attain the results. Basically, most of us work in jobs we hate just to buy materials or experiences to bring us happiness. But that is a steep price to pay. Spending 40 hours a week in a job that is awful just to spend that money on the weekend is a terrible way to live.
Whenever we achieve our goals, we expect happiness to be attached to it. There is a sense of fulfillment and happiness. However, the feeling of happiness is short lived. Naturally, we also get used to the new norm and the feeling of accomplishment start to be less significant.
As ambitious as we are, we naturally start searching for the next challenge, the next source of happiness, or the next source of chemical imbalance in our brains. This is where we get on the happiness treadmill.
The problem with setting happiness as the highest goal, or the only goal worth pursuing, is that happiness is temporary. Happiness is a byproduct of something else – a side effect.
Most of us should pursue meaning and purpose in life. Having meaningful relationships and maintaining them provides a sense of purpose, belonging, and in most occasions, happiness.
Most of us have meaningless careers. The lucky few who have purposeful jobs, jobs that they would do even if they paid less or no money at all, are more happier overall. People who commute less distances to work are also happier than some who sit in traffic for 2 hours. People with more money are happier than poor people. However, there is a limit. Study shows people who make less than $75,000 per year are more likely to report unhappiness than those who do. After earning $75k per year, happiness is barely influenced by money.
Being happy all the time is impossible. But if you’re happy all the time, you might have some psychological issues and you do not have the full grasp of life.
Experiencing sadness is important. Sadness allows us to put ourselves in other peoples’ shoes. We empathize with them. Sadness also allows us to look deep into our inner selves and cope with our realities and failures. The feeling of uneasiness forces us to examine and manage risk.
So, Instead of following the crowd and chasing happiness, chose meaning, purpose and love. A purposeful life might ward off depression, anxiety, and other stress disorders.
Find joy in what you do or find the things you enjoy doing. Pursue meaning and love people who mean something to you and as result, happiness will be a byproduct.
Thank you for reading.
For more on happiness…
Check out this post too “Is arrival fallacy” affecting your happiness?
